(no subject)

[abare_gokutor]

I'm finally back from the hospital. I wasn't there for long, honestly, I could have left on Thursday itself, I only have stitches and to be treated for shock, but I just didn't really want to leave Senri. It didn't feel fair. Not after he'd saved my life.

It's my fault he's in there. The car, some drunken driver who died on impact, it was heading for me. If I'd just moved out of the way and reacted instead of frozen... I've been shot at before, how did a car make me freeze up? It's irrational, I know, but I can't help but think that if I'd shut up shop faster, if I'd not frozen...Senri could still be talking.

He's in a stable condition, but in a coma. I don't....I just...

I feel like a failure. I've helped so many other people, but I can't even help my best friend.

Comments

[dr_speedy]

Last time already. It's NOT your fault. People do freeze up. It's a natural physiological reaction to stress. You can't be made responsible for the actions of your brain chemistry in circumstances that you don't usually face. I couldn't move either when I saw Senri on the stretcher, although I do admit that I did feel bad for it. Even if I know it's natural.

What I'm saying, no one's blaming you, Kippei-san. Senri... Senri jus did what his heart told him to. He's like that, selfless and spontanous, always following his heart... but I believe you know that already. It wouldn't be the Senri we love if he wasn't like that, right? So please, stop blaming yourself. No one's at fault. Sometimes... Some things... they just happen. Without a reason. It's that they don't have a reason, that there's no sense in them, that's what hurts so much.

[deadmanjin]

Kippei. I'll say this only once. None of that is your fault. You ain't the one to blame so don't go doing that shit. You're a good man and there was nothing you could do. Beating yourself up ain't gonna fix nothing. Instead, focus on what you can do for him. You blaming yourself won't help him none.